пятница, 27 января 2017 г.

Exposed to violence?

When I was 5-8 years I was subjected to violence by her boyfriend to mom. it seems very long ago for those who read (I am 15 years old now) but I remember everything very clearly and I do not share the story because I want someone to sympathize. I share neither history only to "put on my" things I do not remember anything and want people to feel sorry for me, but because I think more people have gone through something similar and might recognize themselves. But we are not alone, we have each other! 

then, when I was 5-8 years I was subjected to violence by her boyfriend to mom. since I was the family's youngest, it was ME struck, MEG he threatened. The others in the family (mom and two sisters) had no idea what was going on, even if I was exposed to psysisk and physical violence every day. I was beaten up by the most bizarre reasons: I bet your nails at the age of five years, I did not know in advance how many seconds I got to pee, I was not good enough. I was never good enough and this I was told every single day. he beat and beat until I had to ask for life, he came at night just to finish what he did during the day. He almost killed me so many times, but I survived because I am a fighter. It was not the first nor the last time that proved that I have it, it happened a lot of things before and after this time. 

One of the other things that happened was that I was forbidden to sleep by him. I had to stand in front of my bed for a whole night. if he found me lying in bed or sleeping on the carpet, it was much worse for me the next day. 
he used to throw me down the stairs, into walls, beat my hands with pieces of wood and lock me in the basement five hours at a time. I was kept under water, sprayed with water in the face again and again until he thought it was enough. this happened not only in 10 minutes, but could also take place in 2 hours time. 
no arms ever why he wanted me with him just so he could lock me in the basement, get in with me in the house to beat me so much with his hands, feet and pieces of wood he only managed while the family went on a trip. No wondering ever know what happened to me or why I was lying in bed but stood in front of it when mom came to say good night. and nobody wondered why only I and he was in the bathroom for several hours while the water continued to drain. 
Do you wonder why I have not said anything to my mom or someone else? Yes, this was because he threatened not just to kill me every day while he beat me, but if I said something about it to something else, he would kill both them and me. he would make them just as much pain as I got. and what I got was a HELL so I kept my mouth shut. but finally I said something, and my two brothers and my mom just cried and cried. 
I did not cry, and now when I have retold this I have not felt anything. for me it's like to retell a story; I have no emotional tie-in to what happened. It's just something I remember. 
But even if I did not feel any emotion when I talk or write about it, it does not mean I have not got problems later: I stole incredible lot of money, and the worst is that I do not know why. I also lied so INCREDIBLY lot, I've had depression, anxiety, panic attacks, bulimia, anorexia, suicidal thoughts and more. I have NEVER opened me COMPLETELY up to a person: I do not know how to do it and I feel no need for it. my feelings are limited, and I have very little empathy. This does not bother me, but it has bothered the innumerable many psychologists who have been involved in my life. 
I do not know what's wrong with me (or yes, I know) but also if I am so influenced by what happened, no one can see it on me, and I feel really that every person. Apart from that I've been afraid for my life constantly for 3 years. In addition, there are some smells I can not handle (eg honey soap, or how it smells out when it's dark) because these give me a flashback that I would rather not have, which ends up in panic attack I can not control. 
hope you accept me for who I have become. 
(Ed: you can write to us at ung.no/oss and get help and advice, or call hotline on telephone 116111. There are many who can and will help you so that your life gets better)

It's over now, but it was not very long ago. Got kicked wall between, threw down a basement staircase, tried to be drowned, beaten and kicked. All this, carried out by my own father. Mother and sister, experienced little of this. It was me he hated. Easy for my mother and sister to get on with life after the divorce was performed. Not as easy for me, on the contrary, and all I hear that I am not "normal," for I can and will not do to get me on. This tells my mother to me. I am now 18. Thrown out in life as a little tit with a one-ton large stone on his back. In addition, it is worth knowing that a bird without wings can not fly. I get help, and has also been diagnosed as one with moderate depression. This is a lie. I am a psychopath. Psychologists can not understand this, because psychopaths are callous liars (master liars) and they will do anything to get what they want. I got what I wanted, diagnosis of moderate depression. Why? I would be noticed, I wanted attention around my mental health. This I did not and I'm not going to get it either. I have therefore been a ticking bomb. I'm sick in the head. Whether I take my life, or so I'm going to kill the one who destroyed my life. Do NOT come to say that I have not tried everything to avoid this, because I have. I've called 116 111, I have had cognitive trauma treatment, I've had three psychologists, and I've had three child protection cases against the family. NOT say that this could not have stopped before. 18 (!) Years damned where police, child welfare, psychologists, teachers, nurses and counselors which all agencies have had one or more engagements, but not really bothered a space. Only they make money they are happy and I hope they will be satisfied. That's enough, I burst, and this was the last thing I write about this. This can be seen as a last cry for help or a warning. It is not. This is the start of something new.

You have been exposed to violence if you have sustained a physical or mental injury such as anxiety, depression, difficulty concentrating, and the like. Then it is important that you get help.

Call hotline for children and youth by phone 116 111 now.

Public and quality assured
Experienced violence themselves or seen violence against others
Are you being affected by violence have no guilt. Many people believe that violence happens because of them. By careful not to do anything wrong, can you believe that preventing violence. To create a meaning and a sense of control in what happens, one can therefore blame themselves. But there is always the violent offenders who are to blame. It is only the athlete's responsibility that he or she fails to stop using violence.

Here you can read more about what violence is.

Some feel guilt
Many people who have been affected by a criminal assault, experiencing guilt as a result of what has happened. But violence against others is a criminal offense and should be reported to the police. If the person report the matter so wishes, he / she shall receive a written confirmation that the report has been placed.

You can get help
It may be that you as a family member, neighbor, friend or colleague suspect children or adults exposed to violence and threats. Call the police or child welfare and get advice and guidance on what to do next.

Call the police

Ring 02800, you'll be put through to your local police office.

The hotline for children and adolescents, tel: 116 111

The hotline is open from 15.00 TL 08.00 weekdays and throughout doGet weekends. It's free to call and you can remain anonymous.

TEL: 116 111 (from abroad 0047 95 41 17:55, SMS 41,716,111.

Nurse / advisor / counselor

At secondary schools there are school health, social educators and counselors you can talk to. They can also help you get in touch with other support agencies.

Are you witnessing violence?
There are many who can help you and the victims of violence:

The hotline - call 116111. They can help you in your area.
Police - call 02800 or 112 if it is acute.
Nurse - in your school, where you can talk about everything.
Teacher or counselor at school
You can read more about being a witness to violence at home in a separate article here on ung.no.

Also read: Will you help a friend who is a victim of violence?
What happens if you care?

If you had been exposed to violence, had you then wanted others to become involved for you?

If you choose to provide information anonymously, it may be difficult for the police to assist the victims of violence.

To get stopped the violence, it may be crucial that you come forward with names. If it is established criminal, you may be questioned as a witness in the case.

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