пятница, 27 января 2017 г.

Is adopted, and feel Norwegian

Live life with the Norwegian parents and enjoy it. You have your whole life ahead of you and you will surely find the real parents someday. I'm a foreigner even to have always felt anne chaired though I have all the Norwegians have. I speak Norwegian better than many Norwegians, I have a Norwegian passport, my own culture and a family that loves me. People think that to Be Darker skin or having a headdress on the head cover who you are. To me it shows who I am and that I am the way I am no matter what people think about me. Greeting a proud person ♥♥

I am adopted from China, have family that is 100% Norwegian and have grown up with questions if I am adopted, I would find my biological family, why I believe that I am in Norway and not in China, there are opportunities to find the biological my family. These are constant reminders that I NOT 100% Norwegian. This puts my mind in motion and makes me often think of the biological my family. Question I get I ask myself. "Is your family out there somewhere? Wanted me, but could not keep me or would they simply do not want me? Is it a tiny chance that I might find them? What will happen if it should prove that I find them ?? " 
(Ed: you can write to us at ung.no/oss and get help and advice) 
I have grown up with glances from others who look at my family too me and thus draws his conclusions. 

I follow Norwegian customs, celebrating holidays, eat Norwegian food and have Norwegian friends. I FEEL me 99% Norwegian 99% of the time. One percent is because I KNOW I hate other genes than my adoptive parents, that skin color and eye color and really everything is different than my family. This bothers me, I will be like them, while I will not be there. 

to be adopted is not easy for me, but that does not mean I dislike it. I learned a lot about myself and about others thanks to my incredible parents who gave everything and adopt me.

I feel Norwegian! I speak Norwegian, I live by Norwegian standards and rules, I live in a Norwegian culture, and my friends perceive me as Norwegian in the same way that they see themselves as Norwegian. But I stand me out. My skin color makes me for some perceived that I am also part of another community.

Read Aruna Meretes post about his thoughts on being adopted


You can ask questions and get answers on ung.no/oss .

1000 thoughts of my own adoption
I want to write this article to come with my thoughts. I want to share some of my experiences with you there. I have a thousand thoughts about myself and my own adoption.

To evoke it within an article is virtually impossible. Topic adoption, just like me, too complex to be able to do it.

I feel Norwegian, while I am 'in-between'
I speak Norwegian, I live by Norwegian standards and rules, I live in a Norwegian culture, and my friends perceive me as Norwegian in the same way that they see themselves as Norwegian. But I stand me out. My skin color makes me to outsiders perceived that I am also part of another community. This community helps to define who I am, just as the Norwegian part of me is in deciding who I am. It gives me a feeling of being very 'in-between', in between.

Read also: What is adoption?
Has been in my native country, India
My parents have been quick to take my sister and me on return trips to our native land. For my part, it has been the right choice. I feel like I have some sort of connection to India.

I have an Indian background and heritage in terms of physical traits. Surface I'm dark skin, inside me I'm Norwegian. Precisely in relation to physical features, it has been good for me to experience a community. A community where I can not stand me out in terms of height in relation to age and skin color. It's not the culture I feel is the crucial element of my belonging to this community, so it's another form of affiliation than I'm used to. But the meeting with India has certainly left its mark, especially in relation to increased confidence.

Adolescence - Who am I?
Adolescence is a turbulent period, with many challenges on a personal level. Young people are like leaves in the wind. We are swept from one place to another and drawn between multiple pages. In this vulnerable time, we will find out our identity. Who am I? I have my thoughts and my problems related to my own identity.

Read also: For information concerning biological parents
Has the world's best family around me
I, like so many others, the world's best family around me. Mom, dad, grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins ​​have always done what they can to include me and my sister in the family. In addition, I have a great bunch of supportive friends around me. Is it wrong to think that I have another family out there somewhere? Is it wrong to feel a connection to something far there? Does it then that I am not completely satisfied with what I have?

The emotional link I have to my family ways, in my opinion, up to the obvious biological similarities we missing between us. I feel like I belong with Mom and Dad in every possible way. It is their love I surrounded by. The fact that I occasionally think of my Indian beginnings has nothing to do with Mom and Dad to do.

That's just how I am.

I will try to understand who I am and accept who I am
I can not explain why I feel a longing for something that I in many ways will not feel longing. It has with a guilty conscience to do. A sense of doing wrong against Mom and Dad. But I want my understanding of my parents, and that I've got. They agree that I yearn for answers that I may never come, without thinking that it is a form of criticism of them. It does not mean that they mean less to me, or that they have failed me in any way. But I have no desire to hold back emotions. I've done that for a long time. I will try to understand who I am and accept who I am.

Read also: Ask questions about adoption on ung.no/oss
Will find all of me
I have a past that I did not quite manage to detach myself from. It is not the integration that has failed, but it's just the person I am. I want to find out more about who I am, in many ways I feel that the best way to do that is to learn my past to know so I can find out who I am based on my whole life, rather than just parts of my life. But while I do not want to be sat in a cubicle stamped 'adopted'. As a person, as an individual, I do not want to be sat in a cubicle.

Adopted is something I am, but it's not something I do
First and foremost, I daughter to mom and dad. When Mom and Dad reviewing me and my sister to others, I will be referred to as 'I have two daughters?' not 'I have two adopted daughters?', because I do not want to be defined as adopted first. That they're reviewing me that his daughter is as natural as I refer to them as my parents, and not that my adoptive parents.

Will it solve anything for me to meet my biological family?
Although longing is there, I doubt if I would like to find out more about my hidden past. Doubts I have had a long time. I am in no doubt it will solve anything for me to seek my biological family, and primarily my mother. It is not necessarily a prerequisite for me to live a happy life, just by having met her, but it is a prerequisite for peace? Is that why I do not quite manage to find this inner peace that the people are talking so much about?

I am fortunate to know a bit about my background
I know so much that it may be a good opportunity to find my mother. But I also know that it can complicate things for my mother. I know that life is not always a bed of roses. The stems are not always thick enough, and I have tried to take over me. She who gave birth to me in India is my mother, but it is here in Norway that I have my mom and it was in her heart I was born an October in 1983. To have at least I thought of our relationship for many years. Fundamentally, it is my choice whether I will try to find my mother. Only my choice. I can seek advice and guidance, but it is I who have to live with that choice being taken and vouch for it.

It is only that I know myself and my needs
Or can know my needs, I should perhaps say, for usually whirring I between different attitudes.

Doubt is always at the bottom, and the desire to detach myself from anything that I want to dominate my thoughts. I ask myself how this desire to seek my biological parents really comes from. Is it only a recognition request? Seeing my mother's face and see my own physical traits in her?

I drew a picture that children
We have a picture hanging on the wall of the stairs at home, which I have drawn. In the picture there is a small Indian family. Mother, father and daughter. Mother of course fashionably dressed in a sari, father becoming feasible and daughter in pink dress with colorful bracelets. I was barely seven years and concerned my Indian past, which gave results in artistic creation.

That's what I thought before I saw gladly would identify myself with my mother on a biological level. But on the emotional level I have in my head just a family, and it's family in Norway. As I have gotten older I've realized that it is not the physical identification that is important to me. I want to know that my mother are doing well. Beyond that, I really no great need for contact. But I would like to see my mother in the eye and say that she has made the right choice. Having to give up their child must be the hardest thing a mother can do.

In some cases might illusion the best?
In my mind I imagine that she lives with a small family and that she has it good. A naive thought, yes, but the thought that reality could be an entirely different is sometimes daunting imagine.

On parents hunting with bow and arrow
The idea that I'm adopted, I've gotten used to many years ago. As little I told mom that I before I was born set in heaven and looked down on Earth to me parents. I got first sight of an Indian couple that I liked and shot an arrow at them. But then I turned around and saw my mom and dad, and then I got a problem because I liked them so well too. The solution was to shoot an arrow at mom and dad too, so I thus got an extended family. I tell this little sunshine story to illustrate that for me was not a matter of finding solace in it to be adopted, for me it was a natural explanation for where I belong. I have chosen my parents.

As any youth who question the identity
The point is well that I could have been any young people. Having issues related to their own identity, I am certainly not alone. The feeling I share securely with many thousands of young people in this country - many of those born and raised in this country with 'white' look. The difference is that I have several affiliations places a greater or lesser degree. Norway and India, but mostly to Norway, naturally.

Would describe me as a tree
Despite researcher Geir Follevåg criticism of the use of the word "roots" I would still describe myself as a tree.

The trunk is me,
branches are my family and

leaves are the rest of my network.

The roots are my past.

How deep roots sticking only I know.

I would not, and fails to cut them contrary, at least not just yet. In the wake of Geir Follevåg criticism I am only concerned with one thing, namely that we are adopted must decide for itself whether or not we want to talk about 'roots' or not. The reason is simple. One moment I'm totally with the secession as Follevåg calls, the next moment I have a desire to find out more about my past. What matters to me is that this desire is not a burning desire. I see both sides of the issue, for better or worse.

I respect both those for and against, and those in between.

Such as me.

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